How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arms-length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you´re fine and don´t need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you´re serving or helping someone

[Chorus]
I´ll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
In the course of a lifetime, you´ll never forget
I´ll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I´ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best

How to hate women when you´re supposed to be a feminist
How to play all biased when you´re really a hypocrite
How to hate God when you´re a prayer and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fear of success

[Chorus]

I´ve been doing research for years
I´ve been practicing my ass off
I´ve been training my whole life for this moment, I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you

[Chorus]

How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you´re thinking of killing yourself
How to know them all too well to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in your life blaming them for everything

[Chorus: x2]