When the Devil is too busy
And Death´s a bit too much
They call on me by name you see,
For my special touch.
To the Gentlemen I´m Miss Fortune
To the Ladies I´m Sir Prize
But call me by any name
Any way it´s all the same

I´m the fly in your soup
I´m the pebble in your shoe
I´m the demon in your bed
I´m a bump on every head
I´m the peel on which you slip
I´m a pin in every hip
I´m the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe And it´s so easy when you´re evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I´m evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I´ll ever need

While there´s children to make sad
While there´s candy to be had
while there´s pockets left to pick
While there´s grannies left to trip down the stairs
I´ll be there, I´ll be waiting ´round the corner
It´s a game. I´m glad I´m in it
´Cause there´s one born every minute
And it´s so easy when you´re evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I´m evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I´ll ever need

I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily.

I´m the fear that keeps you awake
I´m the shadows on the wall
I´m the monsters they become
I´m the nightmare in your skull
I´m a dagger in your back
An extra turn upon the rack
I´m the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.

And it´s so easy when you´re evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I´m evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I´ll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I´ll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I´ll ever need

It gets so lonely being evil
What I´d do to see a smile
Even for a little while
And no one loves you when you´re evil
I´m lying through my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need