Hmm
A fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, I´ll take jello
You´re calmer than the seals
In the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins
To express emotio-ion

A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults, and all morals
I´ve never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance

Hmm
A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend, this is
To have, to have the thrills
That a healthy crime has
We don´t have half the thrills
That the march of time has

A fine romance, with no clinches
A fine romance, with no pinches
You´re just as hard to land
As the Ille de France
I haven´t got a chance
My heart´s not made of plastic
You´re the reason I´m sarcastic
´Cause this is a fine, fine romance

Hah!