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I perform this way

by Weird Al Yankovic

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My mama told me when I was hatched
Act like a superstar
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
And someday you will go far
Now on red carpets, well, I´m hard to miss
The press follows everywhere I go
I´ll poke your eye out with a dress like this
Back off and enjoy the show!

I´m sure my critics will say it´s a grotesque display
Well, they can bite me, baby -- I perform this way
I might be wearin´ Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees
It doesn´t mean I´m crazy -- I perform this way

Ooo, my little monsters pay... lots ´cause I perform this way
Baby, I perform this way
Ooo, don´t worry, I´m okay... hey, I just perform this way
I´m not crazy, I perform this way

I´ll be a troll or evil queen
I´ll be a human jelly bean
´Cause every day is Halloween
For me...

I´m so completely original
My new look is all the rage
I´ll wrap my small intestines ´round my neck
And set fire to myself on stage
I´ll wear a porcupine on my head
On a W-H-I-M
And for no reason now I´ll sing in French
Excusez-moi, Qui a pété?

Got my straight jacket today, it´s made of gold lamé
No, not because I´m crazy - I perform this way
I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat
I´ll bet you´ve never seen a skirt steak worn this way

Don´t be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I´m strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
I´m Frankenstein, I´m Avatar
There´s nothing too embarrassing
I´ll honestly do anything
But wear white after Labor Day
´Cause baby, I perform this way

Hope you won´t think it´s cliché if I go nude today
Don´t call the cops now, baby, I perform this way
No reason I should regret all the attention I get
I´m not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I´m always deviating from the norm this way-hey
I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I´m really not insane -- I just perform this way-hey
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